here i go again…

I know there will be another day, but when you really love someone, and you have to watch them walk away, it’s devastating. I’ve been spewing my feelings all evening, to the wrong person, of course.  I always do it wrong. And generally I regret it later.  Why????  Why can’t I just hurt in the quiet, to myself.  Why do I have to feel acknowledged by the person who is hurting me??  That makes no sense.  Especially when this person doesn’t understand.  Maybe that’s my lesson.  Maybe I can’t make them understand.  Maybe they just have to find their own path. Well, yea, everyone does. But I guess it’s just my tough luck that I fell in love with someone who doesn’t want the same thing. Maybe I’m too emotional, or too intense or too something. I don’t know.  And why do I feel like I’m not forgiven?  I have screwed up, and apologized, but I don’t FEEL forgiveness from that person.  Even before…I started to feel like I was walking on eggshells.  But yet, I still love with all my heart.  All I know is that it hurts and I don’t like it.

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