Something has changed. I’m not quite sure what it is, but it’s something. I feel different. Kind of defeated maybe?? Or like I have no fight left in me, maybe? I think I have to give myself a break. There is a lot going on, well actually not a lot, just one big thing that I have to wait until Friday to decide how to handle. Ok, there’s two things going on, but only one is going to have an impact on my day to day living. The other, well, it’s there, as always…. This cryptic post, with no direct explanations as to what or who…but since this post in particular is for me to process…I guess it’s ok to be cryptic this time. Besides, I feel like a broken record sometimes…same ole shit, different day. I guess it’s not shit, because I am happy and I have a great life, great friends, awesome family. So, shit is the wrong word. The weird thing is, is that I feel different this time, with the same stuff. Like I said, something has changed. I need to figure it out.
On a different subject.. a good friend is going to start going to meetings with me. I’m excited. It may only be once a month, but that’s good enough. It’s always good to have that one person that I trust there to share with. For me that’s important. I’m not always good alone. I’ve accepted that, and am ok with it. I’ve learned, or rather accepted a lot of things lately that I’ve tried to deny about myself. It’s allowed a lot of contentment to settle into my life.
Still, I’m curious as to how I am going to be in the morning. I feel sooooo different. Maybe I just need to come out from under my mushroom.
Here’s a Story 