The fare

The Fare

The Fare

Quiet tears

Unfelt fears

These are the things that she ruminates some days.

Deep down these feelings go

Into a place filled with caverns

And hollow sounding walls.

It’s not cold here, or hot,

It’s nothing, yet it’s filled with sorrow.

The kind that makes her hold her breath.

The darkness envelopes in a quiet, nurturing voiceless swirl of unspoken feeling.

As if to say

“You’re back, my love, I’ve missed you so, where have you been?”.

She just lays there now, eyes closed not fighting with him.

“I’m here” she responds,

I’m always here.

In this place of nothingness

Where the air is sweet and the mind is foggy.

She slips farther back on a wisp of swirling air.

This is it, this is where

Her heart can rest from another fare.

There’s a price to be paid, and each time, she must pay it.

Rest now, quiet your fears,

Wipe your tears.

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The Fare

Blog updates

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Photo by Pixabay on

Just wanted to go over a few things about navigating my site.

To the right of my page, there is a search bar, you can type in your search criteria, and find what you are looking for.

Alternatively, there is an archives list as well to the right, if you scroll further down, along with a category list.

At the top (on a desktop) there are my pages that go over income disclaimers, my business tools, favorites, home, etc.

On mobile, there are lines at the upper right, that will bring a drop down menu, so you can choose which page you want to navigate to, the search bar is on the bottom of the page on the mobile version.

Hope this helps!


Sell your awesomness!!

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Photo by Artem Beliaikin on

Soooo…as a part of my transparency on building a business online, I have started a project that will teach newbies how to build a website from scratch.

I’m pretty familiar with WordPress, and I wanted to use another platform to build out a brand new site. So I chose Wix. (Sorry WordPress… but you will be the next course creation. 😊)

There is a great platform called Udemy, where you can create a course, upload it, and then sell it. Once you create the course, that’s it… it becomes completely passive income after that.

I’m really wanting to create as much passive income as I can. I will take on a SMALL number of clients for mentoring/coaching, but I want the bulk of my income to come from me sleeping. lol….

This works people, I’m making money.

I really like to write, which is why I have this blog. (Since 2013). I want to share with other people how the process works, and I’m learning as I go.

I will admit, it’s been a bit more time consuming than I first thought, but that’s totally ok! I learn best by doing.

I’ve also shared that I struggled with mental health diagnosis, and I’ll just say that some days I have a hard time functioning. I go through major depressive episodes, I have PTSD and struggle with the symptoms of that. I have body image issues that I struggle with, and it’s just hard some days.

I also am one of those people who get into the ”flow”, and then I’ll work on my business for hours and hours.. this is NOT A GOOD THING for me. I have to learn to manage my time better.

I’m going to share a couple of personal videos of me, and the things that I enjoy, and that bring me happiness. These are my reasons ”why” I started my online business journey. They will be the next posts.

Happy Friday y’all! Make it a great weekend.



Stop holding your breath

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peace sign banner covered in flowers
Photo by cottonbro on

Over the past week-ish, I’ve been scaling back on my online presence.

I want to talk about this a little because there’s got to be someone else out there that gets to feeling the same way I do sometimes, and because I’ve promised to share everything about building my online business, I need to keep up with that transparency.

Also, this blog started as a therapy tool, 9 years ago, and I’m going to continue to include that as a part of it.

Realizing that I was nearing an emotional mini storm, I stopped. I was beginning to feel this pressure, from none other than myself, to NOT stop until I had my desired of success…..that was just a step in front of what I had already succeeded. I have made huge leaps and bounds in building this business. But it was becoming triggering… this goes back to a lot of psycho babble from childhood and early adult, so I won’t get into that… if you want to find those posts, you can cruise the archives of my page….😁

Anyway, during these past few days, I kept telling myself that ”this” can wait, ”take care of yourself” “don’t give up” ”don’t be afraid”. This last one is, and has been one of my most debilitating roadblocks throughout my entire life.

I kept saying the phrase my grandparents told me as a child ”can’t never did anything”.

This was a seriously rough time. I know some may think it’s not, but for someone who has struggled with paralyzing fear their entire life, triggered by childhood trauma, etc etc, this needed some real good self talk, coping skills, feet in the dirt, praying, mind cleansing, day at a time, type of rough. Understanding as well..

Understanding that it’s ok for me to give myself a break, mentally, emotionally, deep breathing type of break. Because as I said in the title, I would catch myself holding my breath. Weirdest realization, given the history…🤷🏻‍♀️

People say, just take a break.. from what? When I get to feeling this way (fear), my mind goes straight to childhood, then to a memory from there that relates to the fear I’m feeling at the moment. It may not make sense because the present doesn’t resemble the past, but the FEELING my body is feeling, goes straight to the first time I felt that, and it’s generally a childhood instance.

Then, because my brain is totally fucking awesome at remembering things, it proceeds to go through, on some days, ALL of the memories that correspond to that feeling (in this case fear). Therrrreeee sheee gooooees folks!! And it’s Shassy with 50 furlongs ahead of Present Day, flying by All Those Previous Memories in 1 and 45.

I win! Yay!


Then I have to find the logical side of my brain and realign all of that shit that it just remembered, but it in the right time frame, and somehow bring myself back to liking myself again.

This is a colossal pain in my ass. It’s exhausting, retraumatizing sometimes, and just so flipping cold backed.

Add in that I am a recovering addict, and some days are really tough.

It’s a long psychological self awareness thing, that my therapist and I have been figuring out, for years.. before you knock the 7 years I’ve been with my therapist, put yourself in my shoes….anywho… It’s using my coping skills, because when these times happen, it causes ptsd symptoms, and yea, if you are dealing with ptsd, from any kind of trauma, then you understand. But for time…and as I’m really trying to make this a decent read, and not a small book…I’ll leave all of THAT out. Lucky you. 🙄

The point of this is, really, to just remember to see the signs. Know when to step back and take as much time as you need. I was initially going to just take a couple of days… but after those couple of days, I wasn’t ready. I just let myself take a breath, and reminded myself to take it one day at a time.

It’s just that one day at a time, sometimes takes a couple weeks, when the ride down the twisty turny slipper slide starts.

I did eat WAAAAAYYY too much gelato though. But it was soooooo good.

I miss the ocean more than is probably good, and that has had some long term future goals being tweaked…. But that’s the peace of long term goals… you can change them.



Go shopping, fun!

woman in red coat holding book

Go Shopping

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Photo by Daria Shevtsova on

Here’s an easy way to get some of the products I recommend.

CBD, women owned, third party tested. They have lots of lotions, and other all natural, cruelty free products. Check it out.

Perfume! You don’t want to smell bad.. lol…

Natural Cruelty Free Soaps and Lotions by Apple Valley Natural Soaps

Beetanicals Natural Products

Free scrunchie set and face primer deluxe sample, plus free shipping on $55+ orders. Use code: SCRUNCHIE

Just Nutritive is another promising all natural, vegan, made in USA skin care company. You can check them out here.

I also took an in depth extra training for my online business. You don’t even have to show your face, if you don’t want to. 😊 I’ll be posting a link for that training later on.

Until then, peace, and please reach out if you have questions.


Take a break…seriously

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anxious young woman cover wing ears with hands sitting on chair
Photo by Liza Summer on

So for the last few days I’ve been on a break from social media, scaling way back on screen time.

Because, honestly, it’s not worth my mental health, and a lot of the times it triggers me.

If you are aware of the show Intervention, on A & E, you’ll know that they are coming out with an new program that talks about how BAD social media is, and how it’s ruining friends, families, and people’s overall mental well being.

This is a long time coming….I have seen people completely replace one addiction with another, and because that new ”addiction” isn’t a pill, or a drink, they don’t realize that it’s STILL hurting them.

In my opinion, and from my own experiences, a person has to get to the root of the REASON why they turn to a substance, or in this case, social media, to make them feel better. Until and unless we find the root of the reason WHY we are trying to ”feel better”, we will continue to fall into addictive behaviors.

Find out why you are trying to get that dopamine fix… and then learn how to be happy with just ”being”.

Be in the moment, stick your bare feet in the dirt, pet a dog, take a walk in nature and listen to the sounds of the forest, or land.

Step back, because in the world we live in now, I’m not sure how much time we have left to just appreciate… THIS.

Peace ✌️