I was in a chat on Reddit about horses, and the OP posted what she feeds her Akhal Teke… super cool horse, you can click the colored/underlined words to get more information… not very many in the world.
Anyway, she shared that she feeds St. Hippolyt feed. I was curious and knew that the OP was from Europe. (In my opinion Europe has exceptional horse husbandry.)
I found a horse feed that I would love to try with my girl… but…
So I got online to see if I could get it.
Alas, I cannot.. so anyone heading to Austria anytime soon? If so could you bring me back some of this feed? 😁
I feed Sadie a warm mash of alfalfa cubes, beet pulp and Purina Senior Active. She does well on it… but I’m always looking for something that is/could be better for her. I’ll follow up with direct links where you can get those products later today.
I was walking into the kitchen, and saw Mr R. through the sliding glass door. I went back to get my phone and snuck into the kitchen to the window and got this.
Let me preface this by saying I put up all the bulk cat food we feed at night. But there always some little tidbits that he/she thinks he/she needs.
It was just a funny look on he/she’s face when she realized I was watching her through the kitchen window.
They KNOW that they aren’t supposed to be there, but food over rules everything.
I LOVE nature. Being out in it, sitting with the wild animals, hanging out with my horse. It brings me peace on those hard days when I’m struggling with symptoms of my mental health diagnoses.
Anywho, wanted to share this cute funny animal reaction.
NO MY SITE IS NOT GOING OFFLINE. Working out some technical issues.
Find me on my other socials, if you want. I’m leaning further #out #of #Facebook. All of my videos (reels) will also be on my website. (My latest reel is at the bottom of this post.)
Why? Because I like it better, and have to do what’s best for my noggin.
Trying to keep up with everything, is hard some days, and the key to everything online is consistency. So I have to choose which #platforms are #performing better, with the least amount of “issues”.
Everything is linked in my #linktreeinbio
I won’t delete the account, but just won’t be posting as much here as time moves forward. I’ll see how it goes.. because things can change.
I have posted strong opinions about it, but I’m attempting…haha…to find my filter for my mouth.
Find me in my other socials. If you want to…I’m not the boss of you. 🤣🤣🤣
It’s just me being tired of the control issue… my content will get 40k, 10k views, until they offer to pay me, then they toggle it, and views go down. It seems dumb to me.. but hey.. I’m not Facebook. Just had a video get over 11k views Instagram (yes owned by Meta), but it gets less than 500 over on FB… because they wanted me in their monetization program. Prior to that… things were different.
Also, I enjoy the freedom I have on my own site. Nobody tells me I’m going to get banned/ or a community violation for saying this, or that.
Yes I understand that if I’m going to continue to build, I have to jump through some hoops. I’m just deciding which hoops.
Also, having my face in front of a screen, isn’t good for me. It’s not good for anyone actually.
My goal is to share a lot, because it’s the number one most effective way for me to cope… and I’ve got to be able to deal with my baggage…..and if me sharing helps at least one other person, then I’ve accomplished something.
My main source will be here… I’ve had this site since 2013. I’ll keep Medium,(for my poetry) Reddit (because so far I love it there) and Instagram (because it’s easier to integrate what I want)… and Twitter (because I’m a part of a great writing, poetry community over there… but even Twitter is changing)…but I’m backing off of Facebook. I’ve backed completely off of Tiktok…. I can’t stand it there… I still have an account with a couple of videos, but it’s just too much. I do have a feet page… doing an experiment with that, so not sure I’ll keep it….. yes I said feet… I’m quirky and weird, but I’m ok with that. 🤣
I’m opening an Amazon storefront because I have so many products that I get from there, that I use, and it’s just easier to share all in one place sometimes. If I can’t find it on Amazon, I share a link to it.
So there it is. Peace out Facebook. For now at least.
This is one of those days where I have no idea why I’m having anxiety attacks, feeling the dark cloud of depression, and crying at random times for no reason.
I could chalk it up to the diagnoses that I have, I guess. I’m using my toolbox of coping skills, but nothing seems to be working at the moment.
I mean, my brain is damaged, and if I look at it from a logical standpoint, I understand and it makes sense. But from an emotional standpoint, it’s all consuming, frustrating and never ending. It seems that way anyway.
I’m doing the things… cooking Zoey’s food, did the dishes, laundry, mixed up some special food for the old cat that I’m caring for… he’s such a good boy. I’ve spent time with Sadie, my horse, and all the barn cats are always loving and wiling to do their best to cheer me up.
I’ve asked myself over and over “why?”. Why do I have to cycle like this. I don’t feel sorry for myself, because for me that’s just dumb, but being up one minute and then crashing down a few hours later isn’t something that I enjoy.
I just want to “be”.
Be me without the highs and lows, without having a slobbering crying fit for no apparent reason. Without having to get it all out with blog posts, because that’s the only way I can get it out.
I could call crisis, but then I feel like a burden. I could call my therapist… but to tell her what? “Hey, guess what? I’m fucked right now, and can’t get off the spinning wheel… again.”
She would tel me to go to my safe place✅, do 4-7-8 breathing✅, snap a rubber band or hair tie on my wrist✅, go outside and spend time in nature ✅ exercise✅punch a pillow after screaming in it✅… I’ve done these things. Today they aren’t working.
My safe place that I envision when I need to. The beach and ocean sounds.
She would tel me to go to my safe place✅, do 4-7-8 breathing✅, snap a rubber band or hair tie on my wrist✅, go outside and spend time in nature ✅ exercise✅punch a pillow after screaming in it✅… I’ve done these things. Today they aren’t working.
I’ve been on medication. Lots of it. But in the past 10 years or so, the meds I’ve been prescribed have either given me an adverse or allergic reaction, ending me up in an er visit, or worked for a short time and then quickly became ineffective.
I take gaba (amino acid), every day twice a day, I take methylated folate because of the MTHFR polymorphism, I take regular vitamins and omegas. All of my supplements, I know, help and if I didn’t take them (which has happened in the past due to running out because insurance doesn’t cover supplements) things are absolutely 100x worse.
So I guess I could look at it from that perspective… I could be worse.
At the moment though, that doesn’t help. So I struggle, and feel all of the feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and impending doom. (I know there’s no impending doom, but that’s how I feel).
I share all of this for the world to see because I know there are others out there that struggle. Know that you are not alone.
I may end up calling crisis, or taking a prn med to quiet my mind and calm my body.
Thanks for listening.
✌️
Shassy
P.S. if you click on underlined, highlighted, image, or different colored words it will take you to an explanation, or a resource.
Opossums are gentle creatures. They try to look nasty and slobber when scared, and will play “possum” when they feel like there’s no way out. This one in particular has been around a few times and is now trusting me and being brave as to interact and not play dead, or run off. (Yes, they can run off… I’ve seen it. They don’t always play dead.)
They really are an amazing animal, marsupials to be exact, and are beneficial to a healthy ecosystem. I say healthy because when humans get involved, we upset the ecosystem. If we eliminate one part, then it upsets the balance, and then it’s a downward spiral.
This particular opossum in my above ⬆️⬆️⬆️ video is a regular. I can tell by nicks in his little ears, and the end of his tail has a previous injury.
Last summer I took in a blind old opossum to sanctuary. He was starving and trying to live in one of our cats houses. When I realized something was wrong, I called my wildlife person, and took him into be transported to a safe place where he could get what he needed.
I didn’t know that when they get old they can get cataracts and become blind. I picked him up and put him gently into the carrier, and offered food and water, and he ate and drank like a champ. (This is a ranch and we have random bowls that are stored, without being used, so that’s why this bowl is so old looking, and covered in hard water stains. Sometimes the raccoons steal them and I find them in the yard, or further out in the pasture. Please don’t judge my old steel bowl). See below video. ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Then, that same day, immediately after I had returned from the location for drop off for transport to sanctuary, as I walked into the barn, my cats were going after something. As I looked around I found the cutest baby Opie. I don’t care what you say, he/she was adorable.
(I don’t have my “hrsygrl” TikTok anymore, fyi). This video doesn’t show his cuteness as well as what I saw before I picked up my camera. I do have gloves on because although they rarely bite, they still can. I put him in a blanket and snuggled him up to me… and thought…. “I should raise him and keep him”… but I didn’t… he needed to be able to grow and be away from cats, so he went to sanctuary as well.
But I sure wanted to. It was hard to put aside what I wanted, and do what was right for him. Oh my heart 💜. Such a cutie.
So anyway, my point being is that I love animals and creatures of all kinds. I try to leave them be, but as you can see, since they learn where the food is… we will have interaction.
I also ran into Ricky Raccoon last night, but he wasn’t as amiable to discussion. 🤣
Please take care of this planet and all of the inhabitants. Once it’s gone, we don’t get a do-over.
The things I wish I knew when I was younger, parenting with unknown and undealt with trauma. The amazing love for my babies.
Stop. Just stop what your doing and sit in nature. Bring in close those you love.
Talk more about feelings and emotions, if that doesn’t come easy, find a way. Write, sing, draw, whatever… learn to handle them.
Throw away the preconceived notions of what the “rules” are when you have babies. If it feels right to snuggle them after breast feeding, (or bottle feeding) then do it. If it feels right to co-sleep, then do it. Carry your baby on your body in one of those baby slings…. They grow up too fast, you’ll miss those moments later.
Teach your children to respect and mind… forget all this crap of sparing the rod, and “oh, but what if it hurts their feelings?”
Life is going to hurt their feelings, it’s our responsibility as parents to teach them to not get steam rolled by it. Ingraining a sense of respect for fellow humans, earth and animals should be taught…we may live on this planet, but it’s also our responsibility to act like we like it and we should take care of it.
Punish when necessary. Loving discipline is an absolute necessity. It’s not abuse, it’s teaching young what the rules of life are.
You may think this a bad comparison, but I don’t care. Animals in the wild scold and reprimand their young… watch a pack of coyotes, or horses, or primates… we are humans and we have dominion over the earth, and we must act as stewards. Teaching our own offspring not to be little shits, should be one of the most important things a parent does.
I know there are some people that are just rotten, and no amount of discipline is going to change them. I believe that there are elements in place that we cannot see, playing a part, influencing and trying to cause havoc. (Think spiritual warfare if you are a Christian/believer in a higher power.)
What a child learns and is exposed to up until the age of five to eight, will stick with them the rest of their lives. No matter what.
We as parents need to do better. We need to be stronger for our children, but also make sure they KNOW they are loved and teach them the ways to be.
Right from wrong, not if it feels good then do it. Teach them that it’s ok to not win, or not get a prize, because that’s going happen when they grow up, and if they can’t handle it, then we have an adult child with no way to deal with life.
Life. Would you say it has ups and downs? That it’s always perfect? Of course not, life is constantly changing. It ebbs and flows.
If we were fortunate enough to have parents that instilled in us some way to deal, we were lucky.
If we had any trauma during life, then we developed a way to cope. Be it good or bad.
Psychology will say it’s this or that, or this imbalance, or that chemical reaction in the brain that develops to allow the person to live. Those things are all true.
But I see today so many people just plain not giving a fuck, or thinking that “life will teach them”. Yea, life will. But with no support from home, and no belief system, no set parameters…. It makes everything that much harder.
I made many mistakes while I was a young parent, as we all do. Because I don’t know of any baby born with a personalized instruction manual.
But I did my best with what I had. When I felt like I screwed up, I apologized. Unbeknownst to me, I had undiagnosed traumas, and felt some days I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
But my kids knew I had their backs. I told them I loved them. I sucked at homework, because I didn’t even understand it. I could go on and on about all the things I felt I did wrong, but I won’t.
Because my kids are awesome. They both graduated college, they both have good jobs, and are on their own life journey. They are growing into their own, forging their path, and it’s wonderful.
But ya know what? They got disciplined as children, they were given choices and outcomes for their decisions. And yes, I spanked my kids. Didn’t have to do it very often, because they learned that was a consequence that they didn’t like, and if they made a different choice… it wouldn’t happen. I also restricted things they enjoyed if needed. I tried to make the punishment fit the crime. I hope I did ok. I think so… they may say different, but I think that’s the nature of parenting.
We are still on the parent/offspring journey. Parenting doesn’t end when they move out. They are adults now and I must respect their decisions for their lives… though sometimes it’s hard to sit back and just watch them learn on their own, without opening my big mouth and giving unasked for advice. (Which I’m good at). 🙄
All in all, I felt I was tough with my kids, but they also stayed out of jail, and respected authority… with a little rebellion thrown in now and then, because that’s just what happens. They may have a different perspective on that too, and that’s ok. Now and then they’ll tell me stories of things they did that I didn’t know about…. Lol… or so they think. 😉
And now… it’s gone. My cherished babies grew up in a blink. Literally. I think back and sometimes just sit there wondering how all these years went by so fast. I remember telling myself when I was younger to grasp onto these moments because they’ll be gone in a blink… and as life always does, it’s taught me that it really does flash by.
We are but a blip in the matrix of time.
So stop and show your children the flower, or cool looking bug. Walk with them and teach them to relax, because life will pressure them. They need to learn to release. And for goodness sake, get that electronic device out from in front of their face. 🤦🏻♀️
I remember one instance when I was going through the divorce from my son’s father. My son was struggling with emotions his little mind and body didn’t know how to process. He was acting out and I told him to go to his room until he could get calmed down and not throw a fit. So he did.
I stood outside his door and cried as I listened to him throw his toys and cry out in frustration. I gave him some time and when he quieted I knocked on his door. He was whimpering, and I asked him if he was ok, and this little person answered me back and said…
“Mommy I just feel like I need a hug”.
So opened his door and gave him that hug.
He didn’t know how to process, so I let him feel it and work through it, and helped him when he asked.
Also it broke my heart to have to let him learn. Just broke it in two.
I watched my daughter go through sumiliar emotional experiences, and it was just as absolutely heartbreaking as well… she was more like me, introverted, hated having her picture taken… didn’t know how to just “talk”… (at least with me) like me…and when she got to be a teenager, did not want to talk about anything with me. But that was ok, just hard. I’m sure I wasn’t the easiest person to talk to either. I know I wasn’t.
I remember holding her as a baby while she was working through a crying spell. I told her that I was sorry she was feeling bad, and my little baby girl laid in my arms and just cried for a while. Then she stopped. I just stared at her. She was so perfect to me. So so perfect. My little baby person in my arms felt so right.
I also apologized to her for failing her and not giving her a mom and dad who stayed together. At the time I didn’t know what else to do, so I just said that I was sorry. (Again, I didn’t even know what was wrong with me, but I knew my baby was the most important thing).
I didn’t know how much a person could love so much and be so instinctively protective, until I birthed my children. Motherhood is amazing. Regardless if you give birth, or adopt. It’s one of the most precious gifts God has given us… though I could have dealt with no labor pains… but that’s another blog post for another time. 😁
Say I love you, give that hug, talk those talks, teach those rights from wrongs. Let them play in the dirt and run around in the mud puddles. Teach them respect for other living creatures, and where the air we breathe comes from. (Wonder that?… think about it for a minute). Give them that hug, and take those mental pictures of your babies, and seal them tight within your heart. You’ll want them later. Swat that butt, take those car keys, wash that mouth out with soap. (Yes I did that… except it was a dab of soap, not a bubbled mouth full…lol).
They may hate you for it at the time, but they’ll also not forget who had their backs.
If you don’t know the ways, then reach out for help to find them. You made your kids, right? Take that seriously. There’s lots of help out there if you just ask.
I love you Bean and Woubee. You are the absolute best thing I’ve ever done.
✌️and Love,
Mom (Shassy)
My Girl and commercial dog food. I’ll only feed this.
Sadie has ALWAYS been a Mudbug. She waits until the mud gets that super tacky sticky consistency, and then takes a huge roll.
She knows that I will always give her a good brushing, which is why she probably does it, on top of the fact that—who doesn’t love a good clean mud bath?
I know I do…I say that literally. We have some “clean” mud at the ranch, with no horse poop in it, and when it rains a lot, there’s nothing better than sticking my feet in the mud and smushing it all around in between my toes.
Maybe I’m weird, but that’s ok. I’ll embrace that weirdness.
I’ve run through the west pasture during a thunderstorm in my bare feet and a tank top, just letting the rain wash over my body. (And hoping I don’t get struck by lightning…ha…obviously I didn’t because I’m here writing this post.)
I say this about mud to direct to a more serious subject. I previously posted about what it was like to live with mental health diagnoses and how I cope.
Well, this is one of my coping skills, more so in the summer..clearly, because even though I’m not in my right mind (insert large amounts of sarcasm here) I’m not going to stick my feet in the mud when it’s 20 degrees outside. Though I have walked out into the garage barefoot when it’s cold, and I will tell you it takes everything off of your mind….lol…but it’s not my favorite thing to do.
This morning when I went out to do chores, I was feeling anxious. But the minute I stepped out of the car to get started, I breathed in the fresh air, and took a look around at the nature, the quiet, and the peacefulness. My anxiety quieted in my mind and body. The cats all greeted me, and I felt “home”.
I got everyone fed, and was headed back out, and stopped where I feed the corn to the deer. We have one momma that has a hitch in her git-a-long, and I called to them to let them know breaksfast was served.
As I pulled out of the driveway, I got a notification from one of the security cameras.. and there she was, chomping down her breaksfast. I have a special place in my heart for her. 💜
The earth is healing. Animals are healing. Nature is healing. This may sound like a weird question, but have you ever smelled clean, fresh dirt? I know I know, “clean” dirt… but there is such a thing. The smell is wonderful….it’s raw and unadulterated. It heals my soul on those hard days.
So, I’m just suggesting…if you’re having a bad day, and need to try something different……
Sound and vibration therapy uses aspects of music to improve physical and emotional health and well-being. The person being treated must be with an experienced experienced trained practitioner. Music therapy may involve:
listening to music
singing along to music
moving to the beat of the music
meditating with vibration/and or sound waves—(this is my preferred method)
playing an instrument
Healing with sound is believed to date back to ancient times, when music was used in an attempt to cure mental disorders. Throughout history, music has been used to boost morale in military troops, and help people work more productively, along with many different spiritual uses. (cited from this article)
I personally like to put on headphones and just zone out with binaural beats, and let the sounds seep into my brain. It sends me into a trance like state. Pretty cool and bizarre if you have never meditated before.
I suggest you try it… people have been healing the body WITHOUT pharma for thousands of years.
link.medium.com/vXcvKlUDExb
Here’s a Story 