Shame. Some days during the times when I’m struggling, usually the down, or low part, I feel intense shame. Shame for what? I’ve made a lot of mistakes during life, but I’m working on forgiving myself. I’ve come a long way, but some days it’s just overwhelming. I feel the same shame that I felt as a child….it’s that kind of feeling, like you’re doing everything wrong. I know it’s not the case, but some days it becomes all encompassing and I feel like a child again. I work through it, it’s just a pain in my ass. I THINK I understand why I feel this way, and I know that it’s rooted from childhood, so that helps in processing through it and realizing that I don’t need to feel ashamed about myself, my body, anything….that’s usually where it heads.

In 2019 I was diagnosed with another brain fart disease. I had already been diagnosed with PTSD, CPTSD, MDD and generalized anxiety disorder. When I tested again, it said I have borderline personality disorder. When I found out initially I was scared, ashamed, embarrassed….all of the feelings. Then I did some research.

Borderline Personality Disorder is generally caused from trauma…you can read the definition here via Mayo Clinic link. (Just click the colored words.

I realized that it was caused from the things I went through as a child, and surprisingly I was sort of relieved knowing WHAT caused it, as it made it easier for me to deal with and change my behavior. It was like a lightbulb moment for me…as it explained my irrational and erratic behavior throughout different times in my life.

I want to share something, that’s kind of personal.

I have the distinct memory of thinking many times throughout my life, that something was wrong…that my brain wasn’t working right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. The final puzzle piece was handed to me in 2019, and I felt like I could understand it all.

I still have lingering insecurities, but I’m human. I still deal with remnants of childhood feelings, but again, I’m human, and that’s ok.

I just wish I had known then what I know now.

✌️

Shassy

Below is a featured product that I use EVERY DAY. Check it out if you like!

I like to use this at night. It keeps my skin soft, and I’ve never had any issues with it causing any breakouts or anything. I use the Blossom and Fruit, and Facial Serum during the day. My skin has never felt better.

This is also the sunscreen I use. It has hyaluronic acid and squalene in it. With just a touch of glow…not heavy and it feels great! (Click the pictures to take you to the site.)

Both of these products are cruelty free. Which is a must for me.

Keywords: Skincare, cruelty free, third party tested, mental health, borderline personality disorder, childhood trauma, learning