Trying to find my wayward horse. My best friend at 22 years old.

https://youtube.com/@horsygirl

#horses #jeepminicamper #mentalhealthawareness

When I’m out doing things, mowing, working on the jeep, or just relaxing…I let Sadie out to wander around. She has a dedicated pasture for herself, but I pull her off of it during the winter to manage the grass. Since spring is on the way, I’ve been letting her out to run around the rest of the 180 acres.

When it’s time to come in, I just whistle and call her name, and she comes back. Yesterday I saw her heading west along the fire lane and I thought I’d go meet her, but when I got around to that area, she wasn’t there. Clearly she took a left and headed straight to the barn, because she knew it was chow time.

I haven’t owned her her whole life. This is year 5 for us being together. I’m finding that even an old horse can learn to do new things. I’m working with her at liberty, and it’s been the most amazing thing to learn and watch her communicate with me, and me communicate with her. This summer I really would like to see what she’s willing to do…at liberty…and see what new things we can learn about each other, and together.

Horses are amazing. They tolerate our mistakes, and our inability to know from the start, their communication language. When I was younger I had a different idea of what training a horse meant. I’ve always tried to keep an open mind, and always be able to learn new and different ways. Stepping outside of myself and being able to learn from her, has been the most rewarding.

One of my favorite things to do is just go out and “be” with her.

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Just wanted to share how awesome my girl is. 😊

✌️

Shassy

#horses #ranch #mygirlsadie

I love the different expressions on our cats faces. All 16 of them. Love and Loss

I love the different expressions on our cats faces.

Every morning I am greeted with sweet meows, funny cat running, and the ones that walk right in front of me and then fall down all dramatically. I must always watch where I walk, because there are a couple that I swear are trying to trip me, so they can laugh while I’m on the ground.

I may be the crazy cat lady right now, but I’m ok with that. I’ve raised all but four of the cats you see in the video following. It’s also heartbreaking sometimes.

I keep a spreadsheet of them all because I administer all of their shots, and flea/tick treatment. But some days it’s sad because I go in to do my treatments, and update the chart, and I see so many that aren’t with us for now.

Let me explain why, in a real world visual.

I love the different expressions on our cats faces. All 16 of them. Love and Loss

I don’t “own” the cats, I feed, and take care of them and the property where they are located. They have heated houses, a barn, and a heated garage they go into. I have a couple of very bonded females (Bubbles and Millie), and they will sleep together in one of the houses.

One year I came out to work, and was setting up the mower, after I had fed everyone, and a young adolescent named Starsky wasn’t greeting me. He was about 6 months old. But I had bonded with that cat like we had known each other in another life time. I was able to teach him to give me a high five on command, along with a few other tricks, very early on in his first few months of birth. He was very in tune with me and we were just an item. (Though I love them all).

Shortly after that, we started having quite a bit of predation from bobcats. And I think Starsky went by that way. I drove around 180 acres and searched in the woods, calling and crying for him all day.

I was heartbroken for what seemed like forever and ever. I shut down a little, and all my other cats started to notice, and they tried their best in cat meows, and loves, that they understood my pain.

I talk about loss because it’s inevitable. These are “barn cats”, but not your average barn cats. Some may ask, “but why can’t you keep them from dying?” The answer is simple, we vet them, get them shots, wormer, have warm places to sleep, but they are allowed to discover their own lives and create a little “pack” of their own. They are happy being “free”. But with freedom, comes nature. Luckily it stopped shortly after and I have been so thankful.

We keep one female open, and it’s very interesting how Tomcats arrive from nowhere, in the middle of nowhere when she comes in season. Last years Tom, bless his heart, was the most feral cat I have ever seen. I watched him catch a full grown rabbit one morning and eat the whole thing.

He started to come around more often, and I was feeding him, and he was becoming more calm. He wouldn’t let me get very close, but wouldn’t run off anymore. As I watched his progression, I realized he was very old, and had many battle scars.

One morning I went out to feed everyone and he was laying on our back patio furniture, which was very uncommon for him. As I looked closer I realized he was coming to his end of life. He felt safe enough to come here with all of our others, and die. I fed him what he would eat, but I found him gone, and buried him.

Why didn’t I take him to the vet? Because he had been wild his ENTIRE life. To cause him stress in his final days, by live trapping him, taking him into a vets office where he would be terrified, and then subsequently having him euthanized in what would have been a scary and unfamiliar place for him, seemed barbaric. Why take a wild animal out of his comfort zone, just so it could make his final days miserable? No, I won’t. So I talked soothingly to him, when I could walk by, offered food, but in the end he refused. And then the mighty Tom, was gone.

I think I did him right. I didn’t try to changed his life, stress him out, only show love and give food and water.

He is buried under a tree by the pond.

I tell this story about Tom because I feel that sometimes, like in his case, when an animal is completely feral, and decided to trust you (me in this case), to come closer during his end days,I should give him the respect to pass out of this life the way he wanted. He didn’t want me to mess with him, he just wanted a soft place to land for his final breath. I feel like I gave that to him. He passed on his genetics, which are VERY strong, to three of his kittens that we have. They will be a year in May. Three very different personalities, and three cats ingrained with a strong sense of survival.

Cats also don’t meow to other cats. They only meow to people. Their vocalizations between themselves don’t include the “People Meow”…..it’s a varying differences of noises, growls, hisses and face slaps. There are some days during the moon cycle where I feel like I’m a ref at a UFC fight sometimes. You can believe they get scolded for that, because they know EXACTLY what I’m saying. 😁

Anyway, here’s the video. Enjoy the many faces of our cats.

This was Starsky 
Expressions
Starsky

SALE!!! Product Highlight from the best CBD company in the business. #1 Small Business, thousands of satisfied customers, and it’s all small batch, third party tested.

My Girl Zoey

SALE!!!! Click here to see what’s on sale! Humble Collective CBD

Sale!! Product Highlight
This is on SALE right now. I use this for my girl Zoey, and if you follow me, you know we’ve had some health problems from mainstream processed kibble, and I was feeding hi end food.

Sale!! Product Hightlight

The first product I want to show you is the Pet CBD Oil. I’m going to site directly from Sarah’s webpage so you get exactly what’s in it, and also post some reviews.

*coupon codes do not apply while product is on special

We strongly believe that plants grown organically with care will always yield the best medicine. This full spectrum CBD oil is crafted from sun grown Oregon hemp, gently extracted by CO2, containing a rich profile of complementary cannabinoids, terpenes and micronutrients. We know pets are family and they deserve quality plant medicine too!

Consult your veterinarian before use, especially if your pet has underlying conditions or takes other medications.

How to use

Shake before using. Use dropper to apply serving in pets mouth, on treats, or in their food. Wait 4-6 hours before repeating dose. Ideal serving size will vary from 2 drops to 1 ml+.

Ingredients

Organic MCT coconut oil, full spectrum hemp extract**

**Contains Less than 0.3% THC

Disclaimer

Our products are derived from natural sources, so slight variation in color, scent and taste is normal. Earth medicine works unique to the individual, so listen to your body, and discontinue use if any adverse reactions occur.

These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any disease. You should consult a licensed health care professional before starting any dietary supplement, especially if you are pregnant, nursing or have any pre-existing injuries or medical conditions.

Products on this site do not contain more than 0.3% THC by weight.

CBD and hemp products are not for use by or sale to persons under the age of 18.Cited directly from Sarah’s site”

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Second product I want to recommend is the PawAble dog treats.

Again, I am copying directly from HC’s site, with Sarah’s permission.

“CBD Baked Pet Treats

Our CBD infused Pumpkin & Peanut Butter treat bites are packed with human grade SUPER FOODS to help boost your pets Immune system. These treats are a great source of omega-6 fatty acids and antioxidants, at 2mg per bite, they are compatible for pets both big and small.

Local Michigan product! From BC Hemp Co based in Berrien Springs, MI

CBD Infused Treat Counts:

1 oz. 70mg bag = 25 CBD infused treats 3mg/Treat
3 oz. 200mg bag = 70 CBD infused treats 3mg/Treat

Certificate of Analysis
How to use
Ingredients
Pumpkin, Brown Rice Flour, Oat Flour, Cage-Free Brown Eggs, Peanut Butter Powder, Coconut Oil*, Baking Soda, Baking Powder, Cinnamon, Organically Grown Michigan Hemp *Organic
Disclaimer
Our products are derived from natural sources, so slight variation in color, scent and taste is normal. Earth medicine works unique to the individual, so listen to your body, and discontinue use if any adverse reactions occur.

These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any disease. You should consult a licensed health care professional before starting any dietary supplement, especially if you are pregnant, nursing or have any pre-existing injuries or medical conditions.

Products on this site do not contain more than 0.3% THC by weight.

CBD and hemp products are not for use by or sale to persons under the age of 18.” Cited directly from HERE.

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I have never had an issue with any of their products, ever. Never a reaction, never anything but good. I highly recommend you try them out.

Like I’ve said before, I won’t recommend something I haven’t used, or use myself.

✌️

Shassy

SALE!!!! Click here to see what’s on sale! Humble Collective CBD

Being alone forces me to step into my fears.

cirrus clouds

Being alone forces me to step into my fears.

I am still testing, adjusting, and building out my #jeepminicamper. The other night I was parked away from any building, in a nook surrounded by some small trees to try to get out of the wind.

It was about 10-ish, and I rolled down the window and was just looking around. I had gotten out earlier, and just stood there and listened. All I heard was the wind.

As I was looking around a giant panic attack came over me. Why? Who knows… I found no trigger. But I stood there and realized that other than my dog, I was alone. (Within touching distance). For some reason this hit me, and the panic attack got worse.

I don’t quite understand…I’m “alone” all of the time. I don’t socialize, other than phone calls and social media. I don’t go out to events, and I’m totally ok with that. I understand that I have issues, lol, but I’m slowly understanding that even though I do my best to manage symptoms, my brain still defaults to “time to freak out” mode.

Nature is my happy place. I don’t care if it’s dark, light, hot or cold… when I’m in nature I feel my best. So when this happened, I was caught off guard, because, obviously I was out in nature.

I’m serious…the general “fear”….my brain went off the chain…my thoughts were so irrational, like “what if there’s a mountain lion out in the trees”, to “there could be a person hiding somewhere”. WTF. Seriously?

Here’s what I caught on my phone. I set it up and left it until what was left of my battery died. No edits, these are the colors it captured. Simply beautiful.

I have a big mouth dog that hears stuff way before I do. Who protects me and loves nature and being outdoors. (Except when it’s too cold or too hot….she’s a couch dog.) She’s smart. If there were a boogie man or boogie mountain lion, she would have smelled it way before I had even exited the car. This is what I had to tell myself. I had to put myself back in the present, instead of in the twilight zone, and calm my ass down.

Being alone forces me to step into my fears.
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I’ve never had that happen when I’m camping/hiking etc. Never had an out of the blue panic attack. But as I go on this journey, of “all of this”, I’m learning that the brain is tricky. There could have been something that triggered a repressed memory, and caused the switch to flip in the ole’ noggin. That’s the only thing I can come up with at this point. Fortunately, it didn’t last very long, as I went through coping skills, and looked up at the night sky and realized how calming it really is.

So in a round about way, nature brought me back and told me I was ok. That’s the way I see it anyhow.

So now we are testing the boundaries of newly found, long buried fears. Fear has always been a huge debilitating weakness for me. Ever since I was a small child. I would think something was happening and literally freeze with fear. One instance, I was living with my grandparents, and I was upstairs going to the bathroom, and I froze with fear, thinking there was something on my back. I kept whispering “Grandma!”, and somehow her radar ears heard my whispers, and she came upstairs. I told her there was something on my back, and she looked and found nothing, and she settled me back in bed.

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Fear is paralyzing, and if I feel it coming on, I fight hard to stand against it. Literally, I can channel my fear into fight or protection in a nano second. Which is good in some cases…others not so much. If that transition of fear into fight, happens to be coupled with my very slowly growing anger….then I warn people and try my very best to walk away.

Anyway, the whole point of this post is that I’ve learned something new about mental illness, mine in particular.

Growth takes time, and I have to continue to be open when new things like this happen, so I don’t take 10 steps backwards, and fall into the valley of despair.

If you are going through something similar, I feel you. You are not alone.

Peace out from Daenerys… the #jeepminicamper

✌️

Shassy

Being alone
The view of the moon from Daenerys, the #jeepminicamper

Today is a blog, rest and learning day. For the last 3 days I’ve been working on my JeepMiniCamper, only posting shorts.

Today is a blog, rest and learning day. The past three days have been busy, tiring, painful, and rewarding all at the same time.

PTSD has been rearing its ugly head with my mind wandering off into stupid places, so I’ve had to deal with that.

I totally tore down one crappy cabinet in my jeep and completely built something new. With such a small space the old one was just not working. So I build a mini bench. It’s not pretty, but it’s functional and strong, and that’s all I care about.

Today is a blog day.  This is my view currently. 💜

One of the things that I rarely struggle with as a symptom of diagnoses, is irritability. I mean, I can get irritable, but I don’t like to be that way, and rarely does it manifest. But the last few days it has, and I’ve worked hard to dispel that. I have for reasons I don’t feel like mentioning, absolutely hate that about me. I hate getting irritated, hate getting angry, and work super hard on stopping it.

I think it’s a childhood thing…probably is. But I do know that when my anger has overcome me, I have a terrible temper, and can get tunnel vision with it. I don’t like that, it serves no purpose. Same with irritability, it serves me no purpose, and I know that I have failed in allowing it to get out of control in my life, so it’s something that I try to manage. I don’t like to be that way around people, or treat them that way, though I know I have failed at that during life.

I punch pillows, do yoga, spend time with nature and animals, and just basically get rid of that negativity.

Today is a blog, rest and learning day. For the last 3 days I’ve been working on my JeepMiniCamper, only posting shorts.

Anyway, today I’m waiting on a part, and there’s really nothing else I can build at this point, in my jeep. The rest will be ad-ons—-the faucet, since, clean and grey water tanks, awnings and window shades. I think I’m either going to build or buy something that I can add on to the back end of my jeep to make a covered area. I’ve seen tents like this one…

This is exactly what I’m going to use.

I’ll have it packed in my gear box, and they actually have it attached to a Grand Cherokee, which is what I have. So this will work perfectly.

For shorter trips, I’m fabricating my own awnings..pvc pipe, heavy duty tarp, guy lines, and poles. I’ll attach it to the roof rack that’s already on my jeep, way cheaper than buying them, and I’ll know how they’re made if something goes wrong. Easy peasy.

HAHA….I’ve found that not everything that I have planned has gone easy peasy. But I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’m learning so much.

Not much else for today. I need to do some editing for my YouTube channel…please subscribe if you can, and follow on my Facebook. I would really appreciate it.

Here’s a video of my girl running around yesterday… it was a gorgeous day and she was kicking up her heels… literally… lol

Happy Monday!

✌️

Shassy

P.S. Don’t forget to subscribe to get notifications when I post.

P.P.S. I’m editing some videos and will blog abou the progress and what I’ve built so far… that’s coming up. I’m new to editing and all of that stuff.

I found a horse feed that I would love to try with my girl… but…

I was in a chat on Reddit about horses, and the OP posted what she feeds her Akhal Teke… super cool horse, you can click the colored/underlined words to get more information… not very many in the world.

Anyway, she shared that she feeds St. Hippolyt feed. I was curious and knew that the OP was from Europe. (In my opinion Europe has exceptional horse husbandry.)

I found a horse feed that I would love to try with my girl… but…

So I got online to see if I could get it.

Alas, I cannot.. so anyone heading to Austria anytime soon? If so could you bring me back some of this feed? 😁

I feed Sadie a warm mash of alfalfa cubes, beet pulp and Purina Senior Active. She does well on it… but I’m always looking for something that is/could be better for her. I’ll follow up with direct links where you can get those products later today.

Here’s some info about it… (St.Hippolyt) it sounds amazing, and there’s no junk in it.

I wish I could get this, but haven’t found a way yet.

Just a random post.

Happy Tuesday.

✌️

Shassy

Keywords: horse feed, St. Hippolyt, alfalfa cubes, Purina

Find me in my other socials. If you want to…I’m not the boss of you. 🤣🤣🤣

Or here via my Linktree.

NO MY SITE IS NOT GOING OFFLINE. Working out some technical issues.

Find me on my other socials, if you want. I’m leaning further #out #of #Facebook. All of my videos (reels) will also be on my website. (My latest reel is at the bottom of this post.)

Why? Because I like it better, and have to do what’s best for my noggin.

Trying to keep up with everything, is hard some days, and the key to everything online is consistency. So I have to choose which #platforms are #performing better, with the least amount of “issues”.

Everything is linked in my #linktreeinbio

I won’t delete the account, but just won’t be posting as much here as time moves forward. I’ll see how it goes.. because things can change.

I have posted strong opinions about it, but I’m attempting…haha…to find my filter for my mouth.

Find me in my other socials. If you want to…I’m not the boss of you. 🤣🤣🤣

It’s just me being tired of the control issue… my content will get 40k,
10k views, until they offer to pay me, then they toggle it, and views go down. It seems dumb to me.. but hey.. I’m not Facebook. Just had a video get over 11k views Instagram (yes owned by Meta), but it gets less than 500 over on FB… because they wanted me in their monetization program. Prior to that… things were different.

Also, I enjoy the freedom I have on my own site. Nobody tells me I’m
going to get banned/ or a community violation for saying this, or that.

Yes I understand that if I’m going to continue to build, I have to jump through some hoops. I’m just deciding which hoops.

Also, having my face in front of a screen, isn’t good for me. It’s not good for anyone actually.

My goal is to share a lot, because it’s the number one most effective way for me to cope… and I’ve got to be able to deal with my baggage…..and if me sharing helps at least one other person, then I’ve accomplished something.

My main source will be here… I’ve had this site since 2013. I’ll keep Medium,(for my poetry) Reddit (because so far I love it there) and Instagram (because it’s easier to integrate what I want)… and Twitter (because I’m a part of a great writing, poetry community over there… but even Twitter is changing)…but I’m backing off of Facebook. I’ve backed completely off of Tiktok…. I can’t stand it there… I still have an account with a couple of videos, but it’s just too much. I do have a feet page… doing an experiment with that, so not sure I’ll keep it….. yes I said feet… I’m quirky and weird, but I’m ok with that. 🤣

I’m opening an Amazon storefront because I have so many products that I get from there, that I use, and it’s just easier to share all in one place sometimes. If I can’t find it on Amazon, I share a link to it.

So there it is. Peace out Facebook. For now at least.

I can’t believe I could have lost her 4 months ago. (Story on my insta via underlined/ and or different colored words).

✌️

Shassy

This is Opie, the radically brave opossum approximately 1 to 3 years.

close up of an opossum
This is Opie, approximately 1 to 3 year old opossum.

Published by Shassy 20 Feb 23

Opie Opossum

Opossums are gentle creatures. They try to look nasty and slobber when scared, and will play “possum” when they feel like there’s no way out. This one in particular has been around a few times and is now trusting me and being brave as to interact and not play dead, or run off. (Yes, they can run off… I’ve seen it. They don’t always play dead.)

They really are an amazing animal, marsupials to be exact, and are beneficial to a healthy ecosystem. I say healthy because when humans get involved, we upset the ecosystem. If we eliminate one part, then it upsets the balance, and then it’s a downward spiral.

This particular opossum in my above ⬆️⬆️⬆️ video is a regular. I can tell by nicks in his little ears, and the end of his tail has a previous injury.

Northwest Registered Agent

Last summer I took in a blind old opossum to sanctuary. He was starving and trying to live in one of our cats houses. When I realized something was wrong, I called my wildlife person, and took him into be transported to a safe place where he could get what he needed.

I didn’t know that when they get old they can get cataracts and become blind. I picked him up and put him gently into the carrier, and offered food and water, and he ate and drank like a champ. (This is a ranch and we have random bowls that are stored, without being used, so that’s why this bowl is so old looking, and covered in hard water stains. Sometimes the raccoons steal them and I find them in the yard, or further out in the pasture. Please don’t judge my old steel bowl). See below video. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Then, that same day, immediately after I had returned from the location for drop off for transport to sanctuary, as I walked into the barn, my cats were going after something. As I looked around I found the cutest baby Opie. I don’t care what you say, he/she was adorable.

(I don’t have my “hrsygrl” TikTok anymore, fyi). This video doesn’t show his cuteness as well as what I saw before I picked up my camera. I do have gloves on because although they rarely bite, they still can. I put him in a blanket and snuggled him up to me… and thought…. “I should raise him and keep him”… but I didn’t… he needed to be able to grow and be away from cats, so he went to sanctuary as well.

But I sure wanted to. It was hard to put aside what I wanted, and do what was right for him. Oh my heart 💜. Such a cutie.

So anyway, my point being is that I love animals and creatures of all kinds. I try to leave them be, but as you can see, since they learn where the food is… we will have interaction.

I also ran into Ricky Raccoon last night, but he wasn’t as amiable to discussion. 🤣

Please take care of this planet and all of the inhabitants. Once it’s gone, we don’t get a do-over.

✌️

Shassy

this is opie
Photo by GLEIVE MARCIO RODRIGUES DE SOUZA on Pexels.com

My Mudbug

My Mudbug

Sadie has ALWAYS been a Mudbug. She waits until the mud gets that super tacky sticky consistency, and then takes a huge roll.

She knows that I will always give her a good brushing, which is why she probably does it, on top of the fact that—who doesn’t love a good clean mud bath?

I know I do…I say that literally. We have some “clean” mud at the ranch, with no horse poop in it, and when it rains a lot, there’s nothing better than sticking my feet in the mud and smushing it all around in between my toes.

Maybe I’m weird, but that’s ok. I’ll embrace that weirdness.

I’ve run through the west pasture during a thunderstorm in my bare feet and a tank top, just letting the rain wash over my body. (And hoping I don’t get struck by lightning…ha…obviously I didn’t because I’m here writing this post.)

I say this about mud to direct to a more serious subject. I previously posted about what it was like to live with mental health diagnoses and how I cope.

Well, this is one of my coping skills, more so in the summer..clearly, because even though I’m not in my right mind (insert large amounts of sarcasm here) I’m not going to stick my feet in the mud when it’s 20 degrees outside. Though I have walked out into the garage barefoot when it’s cold, and I will tell you it takes everything off of your mind….lol…but it’s not my favorite thing to do.

This morning when I went out to do chores, I was feeling anxious. But the minute I stepped out of the car to get started, I breathed in the fresh air, and took a look around at the nature, the quiet, and the peacefulness. My anxiety quieted in my mind and body. The cats all greeted me, and I felt “home”.

I got everyone fed, and was headed back out, and stopped where I feed the corn to the deer. We have one momma that has a hitch in her git-a-long, and I called to them to let them know breaksfast was served.

As I pulled out of the driveway, I got a notification from one of the security cameras.. and there she was, chomping down her breaksfast. I have a special place in my heart for her. 💜

The earth is healing. Animals are healing. Nature is healing. This may sound like a weird question, but have you ever smelled clean, fresh dirt? I know I know, “clean” dirt… but there is such a thing. The smell is wonderful….it’s raw and unadulterated. It heals my soul on those hard days.

So, I’m just suggesting…if you’re having a bad day, and need to try something different……

Go find some mud.

✌️

Shassy

Here’s my girl on one of her spa days.

My MudBug