This morning was great, beautiful and after this I’m going to take a nap, ptsd is kicking my ass today, so I do what I need to make it through the day.
But before that, as I got out to the ranch, I played with Zoey for a while. Yesterday was rough for both of us. So to see her back to normal, wanting to play, filled my heart with joy. Zoey has a lectin intolerance, which causes her to projectile vomit if she eats the wrong things.
I felt so guilty because I thought I’d try some different protein in her breakfast, and I instantly knew that she was hurting, her tummy was upset. I’ll explain lectin intolerance in another post, but it’s real and it causes bad things to happen.
So this morning when she wanted to play ball and was feeling good, I felt good.
I love the different expressions on our cats faces.
Every morning I am greeted with sweet meows, funny cat running, and the ones that walk right in front of me and then fall down all dramatically. I must always watch where I walk, because there are a couple that I swear are trying to trip me, so they can laugh while I’m on the ground.
I may be the crazy cat lady right now, but I’m ok with that. I’ve raised all but four of the cats you see in the video following. It’s also heartbreaking sometimes.
I keep a spreadsheet of them all because I administer all of their shots, and flea/tick treatment. But some days it’s sad because I go in to do my treatments, and update the chart, and I see so many that aren’t with us for now.
Let me explain why, in a real world visual.
I love the different expressions on our cats faces. All 16 of them. Love and Loss
I don’t “own” the cats, I feed, and take care of them and the property where they are located. They have heated houses, a barn, and a heated garage they go into. I have a couple of very bonded females (Bubbles and Millie), and they will sleep together in one of the houses.
One year I came out to work, and was setting up the mower, after I had fed everyone, and a young adolescent named Starsky wasn’t greeting me. He was about 6 months old. But I had bonded with that cat like we had known each other in another life time. I was able to teach him to give me a high five on command, along with a few other tricks, very early on in his first few months of birth. He was very in tune with me and we were just an item. (Though I love them all).
Shortly after that, we started having quite a bit of predation from bobcats. And I think Starsky went by that way. I drove around 180 acres and searched in the woods, calling and crying for him all day.
I was heartbroken for what seemed like forever and ever. I shut down a little, and all my other cats started to notice, and they tried their best in cat meows, and loves, that they understood my pain.
I talk about loss because it’s inevitable. These are “barn cats”, but not your average barn cats. Some may ask, “but why can’t you keep them from dying?” The answer is simple, we vet them, get them shots, wormer, have warm places to sleep, but they are allowed to discover their own lives and create a little “pack” of their own. They are happy being “free”. But with freedom, comes nature. Luckily it stopped shortly after and I have been so thankful.
We keep one female open, and it’s very interesting how Tomcats arrive from nowhere, in the middle of nowhere when she comes in season. Last years Tom, bless his heart, was the most feral cat I have ever seen. I watched him catch a full grown rabbit one morning and eat the whole thing.
He started to come around more often, and I was feeding him, and he was becoming more calm. He wouldn’t let me get very close, but wouldn’t run off anymore. As I watched his progression, I realized he was very old, and had many battle scars.
One morning I went out to feed everyone and he was laying on our back patio furniture, which was very uncommon for him. As I looked closer I realized he was coming to his end of life. He felt safe enough to come here with all of our others, and die. I fed him what he would eat, but I found him gone, and buried him.
Why didn’t I take him to the vet? Because he had been wild his ENTIRE life. To cause him stress in his final days, by live trapping him, taking him into a vets office where he would be terrified, and then subsequently having him euthanized in what would have been a scary and unfamiliar place for him, seemed barbaric. Why take a wild animal out of his comfort zone, just so it could make his final days miserable? No, I won’t. So I talked soothingly to him, when I could walk by, offered food, but in the end he refused. And then the mighty Tom, was gone.
I think I did him right. I didn’t try to changed his life, stress him out, only show love and give food and water.
He is buried under a tree by the pond.
I tell this story about Tom because I feel that sometimes, like in his case, when an animal is completely feral, and decided to trust you (me in this case), to come closer during his end days,I should give him the respect to pass out of this life the way he wanted. He didn’t want me to mess with him, he just wanted a soft place to land for his final breath. I feel like I gave that to him. He passed on his genetics, which are VERY strong, to three of his kittens that we have. They will be a year in May. Three very different personalities, and three cats ingrained with a strong sense of survival.
Cats also don’t meow to other cats. They only meow to people. Their vocalizations between themselves don’t include the “People Meow”…..it’s a varying differences of noises, growls, hisses and face slaps. There are some days during the moon cycle where I feel like I’m a ref at a UFC fight sometimes. You can believe they get scolded for that, because they know EXACTLY what I’m saying. 😁
Anyway, here’s the video. Enjoy the many faces of our cats.
This is on SALE right now. I use this for my girl Zoey, and if you follow me, you know we’ve had some health problems from mainstream processed kibble, and I was feeding hi end food.
Sale!! Product Hightlight
The first product I want to show you is the Pet CBD Oil. I’m going to site directly from Sarah’s webpage so you get exactly what’s in it, and also post some reviews.
“*coupon codes do not apply while product is on special
We strongly believe that plants grown organically with care will always yield the best medicine. This full spectrum CBD oil is crafted from sun grown Oregon hemp, gently extracted by CO2, containing a rich profile of complementary cannabinoids, terpenes and micronutrients. We know pets are family and they deserve quality plant medicine too!
Consult your veterinarian before use, especially if your pet has underlying conditions or takes other medications.
How to use
Shake before using. Use dropper to apply serving in pets mouth, on treats, or in their food. Wait 4-6 hours before repeating dose. Ideal serving size will vary from 2 drops to 1 ml+.
Ingredients
Organic MCT coconut oil, full spectrum hemp extract**
**Contains Less than 0.3% THC
Disclaimer
Our products are derived from natural sources, so slight variation in color, scent and taste is normal. Earth medicine works unique to the individual, so listen to your body, and discontinue use if any adverse reactions occur.
These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any disease. You should consult a licensed health care professional before starting any dietary supplement, especially if you are pregnant, nursing or have any pre-existing injuries or medical conditions.
Products on this site do not contain more than 0.3% THC by weight.
SALE!!! Product Highlight from the best CBD company in the business. #1 Small Business, thousands of satisfied customers, and it’s all small batch, third party tested.
Second product I want to recommend is the PawAble dog treats.
Again, I am copying directly from HC’s site, with Sarah’s permission.
“CBD Baked Pet Treats
Our CBD infused Pumpkin & Peanut Butter treat bites are packed with human grade SUPER FOODS to help boost your pets Immune system. These treats are a great source of omega-6 fatty acids and antioxidants, at 2mg per bite, they are compatible for pets both big and small.
Local Michigan product! From BC Hemp Co based in Berrien Springs, MI
CBD Infused Treat Counts:
1 oz. 70mg bag = 25 CBD infused treats 3mg/Treat 3 oz. 200mg bag = 70 CBD infused treats 3mg/Treat
Certificate of Analysis How to use Ingredients Pumpkin, Brown Rice Flour, Oat Flour, Cage-Free Brown Eggs, Peanut Butter Powder, Coconut Oil*, Baking Soda, Baking Powder, Cinnamon, Organically Grown Michigan Hemp *Organic Disclaimer Our products are derived from natural sources, so slight variation in color, scent and taste is normal. Earth medicine works unique to the individual, so listen to your body, and discontinue use if any adverse reactions occur.
These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any disease. You should consult a licensed health care professional before starting any dietary supplement, especially if you are pregnant, nursing or have any pre-existing injuries or medical conditions.
Products on this site do not contain more than 0.3% THC by weight.
PetLibro has some of the coolest gadgets for your pets. They are made well, and some can be Wi-Fi enabled. Add this to your indoor pet camera, and you an make sure your furkids are taken care of when you aren’t at home.
(You can click on any of the pictures to check out their inventory. )
Automatic pet waterer. I’m not sure about you, but my cat is VERY picky about where he get his water. It has to be in a certain bowl, and very fresh. They also have an indoor automatic dog waterer. Automatic kibble dispensers, cat toys, multi pet feeders and much more. High quality products that won’t disappoint. Automatic water dispenser for large dogs as well as the little guys.
Automatic pet waterer. One of the best sellers is the Capsule automatic waterer that cats love.
When I say I’ve tried a lot of face products, I ain’t kiddin’… But the Facial Serum, and the Blue Dream cream, is a game changer. I am outside year round taking care of animals, and absolutely can’t stand it if my face feels dry. The serum alone does the trick, but holy guacamole..adding in the Blue dream cream was the cherry on top.
The LEGAL Delta 9 + CBD gummies keep me walking, literally. They help with my ptsd symptoms, and anxiety. Without having this product, I am in pain that is not manageable. I do have pharma for a last resort, but that’s exactly what they are, a last resort. I will always reach for my plant medicine first.
I’m adding my screen shots of these products, because I think everyone needs to see the amazing product they are getting, for an affordable price. The quality is exceptional. I will never use anything else.
If you haven’t tried their products, you’re missing out. Seriously.
I’ll add a reel to my Facebook page, with a link.
✌️💜😊. Use the plants that this earth provides for us my friends, because that’s the best way. Hands down.
If you choose to purchase, you can use my code “Humble Alternative” for more of a discount.
As always, you can click on any underlined word for further description, or click on the pictures to take you to their site.
This post is not to dish on pharma….there have been many many good things come from pharma…like my statin. I tried to adjust my diet and lower cholesterol, but couldn’t, so I take a statin. I don’t feel that EVERY SINGLE drug out there is bad….I just don’t like the monopoly that seems to go on at times. So don’t give me the side eye. There are good meds, I just haven’t had a good track record with taking them.
So, there you have it. Plants are where it’s at, in most cases. Most of our medications originated from plants… so I mean…🤷🏻♀️. Why can’t we continue to heal ourselves that way.
I think we should.
✌️~Shassy
Keywords: public health emergency prevent or treat covid delivered right to your inbox
It’s time for my girl to get some new kicks, and a new coat. Here’s what I’m looking at. I think I’ve narrowed it down to her #1 new boots, but still deciding on her new coat.
Below the picture of her paw, are the boots I’m getting her, and her new coat. We are outside everyday, taking care of livestock, and she’s a short coated dog, so she needs something to help keep her warm. She has LONG fingers and LONG fingernails… I keep them trimmed, but because she’s so elegant with her feet, I can’t clip too short, or it will hurt, and bleed. Here’s a picture of her feet for reference.
You see they are long, but see the pink part? I cannot trim that, it’s consider the “quick”,
So here’s my choices, I’ll be purchasing these for for my girl. She deserves the best, being my retired service dog. She still performs tasks for me at home. She alerts ahead of time before I have an anxiety attack, and then if I happen to dissociate during that time, she will get in front of my face, if I don’t respond, then she licks my face, and puts her paw gently on my chest. She alerts to oncoming costochondritis flareups, before they happen, and she does DPT for me during painful fibromyalgia flareups. (You can click on any of the underlined words for a definition.)
Struggling with depression, anxiety, symptoms of ptsd, really sucks. The cycle is exhausting.
I’ve talked about this before, but need to talk again, because I am struggling.
This past week has been basically uneventful, with weird sleep cycles, and constant morbid thoughts. Yesterday was a good day though, and I want to mention that I have good moments, and good days. It’s not all bad. It’s just the cycle that I have a hard time with.
For example, I spent Christmas Eve with family, and thoroughly enjoyed it, and it made me feel happy and very blessed. I have the best family, and love seeing and spending time with them. In my silly utopia of a world, we all live in a huge house, on a bunch of land, with our own separate “wings”. But I digress….
On the way home though, I felt it. That dark cloud that is always hovering in the corners, waiting to come out. It arrived this morning the minute I got out of bed. I busied myself taking care of things, making my dogs food, getting my horses food warmed, running a load of laundry, and running the dishwasher. I did all of this before I left the house at 6:30am.
I put myself out in nature because it makes me feel good. But I can’t stay out there right now because I don’t have the right equipment. (I’m working on that). So I got morning chores done and came home and it just sweeps in and overtakes me. I feel like crying. I know there is no reason for this…nothing has happened, it’s not situational. It’s just a cycle.
At my last med evaluation appointment, I spoke with her about medication. I have tried many many medications, and they either don’t work, work, then quit working, or I have an allergic or adverse reaction to them.
She gave me a current script for a med that I had taken years ago, but stopped because it didn’t seem to be doing anything, and I got it filled. But as I was opening the bottle to start taking it, I had a panic attack. I believe this was because this past summer, she prescribed me another medication, I took it, and ended up in the ER, with very high blood pressure, headache, and uncontrollable vomiting. So now I’m just afraid.. afraid to try another pharmaceutical. (That wasn’t the first time I’ve ended up in the ER with a reaction from a medication. I’ve learned to listen closely to what my body says.)
Here I am today, feeling the doom and gloom coming on. My therapist wants me to continue to writing… writing whatever I feel like. Poetry, fiction, journaling, whatever.. she wants me to keep doing it.
So I am.
Thanks for listening. ✌️ And please comment if you struggle as well, and what works for you. For me it’s one day at a time, sometimes one minute at at time.
I also want to say that I’m sharing this to my Twitter account, because I know that I have some followers that struggle as well, and I want them to know that they are not alone. 💜. I will not always share my posts there, because I mostly use it for my poetry. But this one hits home for me.
Keywords: struggling with depression, types of depression, symptoms of depression, coping with depression, living with depression, deal with depression, struggling with depression, struggling with depression, struggling with depression
I think I’ve figured out this whole online business thing. It’s been almost a year that I’ve been learning, creating, and figuring it out.
Here’s some things I’ve found out about the online space, and making money.
Money doesn’t buy you happiness. I’ve had it, made it, lost it, and honestly, it hasn’t brought me any kind of peace at all.
If you think that you are going to start a business without investing money, you’re being mislead.
If you think that you are going to make fast money, again, you’re being mislead.
I’ve found out that, for me, if it doesn’t bring me peace, a sense of completeness, and the ability to maybe help others, THEN IT’S NOT WORTH IT, and I’m not going to do it.
I have found what makes me feel good, what brings me peace, and what ignites a fire under my ass. It’s not building funnels, or landing pages, it’s not getting a new affiliate partnership with another company, it’s not sitting in zoom calls listening to rah rah speeches, and being told that I need to do this or that to make money.
MONEY MONEY MONEY. I’m so sick of hearing about money. Because honestly if I die tomorrow, I can’t take it with me. Money is REQUIRED to live in most places in a populated society. But everyone is different, and their goals are different. That’s ok.
I am a lifelong trauma survivor. I’ve struggled MY ENTIRE LIFE. I struggle to this day.
What I have realized is that writing helps me process that trauma, and makes me not want to kill myself. Yea, that’s heavy, but it’s the truth. Building a huge affiliate program isn’t what I want to do. I want to pour my heart and soul into what I write because it feels RIGHT. It’s right for me. So that’s what I’m going to do.
I will probably keep the few affiliate partnerships that I have, my amazon store, maybe my Etsy store, I don’t know yet. But I’ll be getting rid of all of the others, because it’s just not right for me.
So for my followers, thank you for hanging in there with me. Thank you for seeing me and allowing me to find my passion. It’s been a year, for sure.
Follow me on Twitter @hrsygurl. On Medium @hrysgurl. On Facebook. (You can click the underlined words). And of course here.
Thank you. Really, I mean it, from the bottom of my heart.
If you would like to join the writing challenge for November, go to this link NaNoWriMo.org. It’s not too late!
Key words: what is my passion, struggling to find my passion, how to find your passion when you are depressed, find your passion meaning, how to find your passion and purpose, finding and fulfilling pursuit, discover your passion.
Here’s a Story 