So, what now. Up all night, tired, cranky, 0 motivation, on a scale of 0-10. 10 being the bestest ever in life. (Yes, I’m being a crybabysissybedwetter…I’ll get over it).

adult alone autumn brick

I’m in the cycle where I’m not sleeping normal… then I’m tired during the day. Random anxiety attacks, and over all not wanting to deal with anything social or human.

So what. I’m sure there’s others out there going through the same thing. It’ll pass.

Plus, I binge eat. It’s something that’s just sort of manifested that last couple of years. I’ve been working really hard to not do that…my labs came back good, except my LDL was 111. Last lab I took, it was 87.

I can’t explain this binge eating, and it’s only with sweet stuff…over the last few weeks, I’ve done ok at not reaching for that unhealthy coping skill, but last night I fell off the wagon and ate chocolate fudge cake mix. Yea, just the mix. Well, mixed with some warm butter and water. That sounds disgusting now as I think about it, and it’s made my sick today, because it’s too much processed food, sugar and all of the things that my body isn’t used to anymore.

So, what now. Up all night, tired, cranky, 0 motivation, on a scale of 0-10. 10 being the bestest ever in life. (Yes, I’m being a crybabysissybedwetter…I’ll get over it).

I’ve got to get this in check. I’ve lost 14 pounds so far, and I don’t want to screw it up by getting back on the sugar shack train. Eating chocolate fudge cake batter is just stupid.

I have a body image issue, body dysmorphia is what it’s called I think. I’ve had it my whole life, but never understood it until a few years ago. I won’t go into the details, but you can read about it here.

Get 35% off your first order + free shipping w/ code DOGGO35!

I feel guilty..which is an important note. Back in the day when I would drink a lot to cope, a lot of times because of the situation, the next day I would wake up and feel like I had committed the seven deadly sins. I felt so much guilt for how I acted while under the influence. The stupid things I did, the times that only the good Lord above saved me, when I should have been taking a dirt nap.

The guilt is a symptom of another symptom. Addiction. I’m an addict. If I’m not careful, my go-to “drug of choice”, can and does change. Recently it’s been sweets and sugar. I’ve just transferred my addiction…to something else. I’m not drinking, abusing medication, doing illegal drugs…but I am acting like an addict.

Maybe one or two bites of the cake batter would have been fine…but my brain goes haywire and I over do it, and binge. The next day I feel like shit, and guilty, as the spiral starts.

This is what happens when I don’t keep an eye on my mental health. I mean I’m trying to do “the things”, and stay active, but addiction is a sneaky little bastard, and sometimes I fail.

I don’t know right now if there was a trigger, or if it’s the moon cycle, or if I’m just going through it again. What I do know is that my body CAN NOT handle the binge. I know this.

Jamaican Blue Mountain “The Java of Kings”
Up all night
Photo by Martin de Arriba on Pexels.com

This is my favorite coffee, btw.

Ok, so I had to add in my favorite coffee as of right now. I can’t believe how great it is. There’s a video of me somewhere doing an unboxing…I’ll try to find it to add to this post. Not that that will make you want to buy some, but you should. It’s roasted in America, shipped and packaged by a small company, and I just love it.

Want some kopi luwak? For real? Click here.

So, I’m doing what my shrink told me to, write about how I’m feeling and learn to be vulnerable. This is difficult sometimes. I don’t want to admit that I still struggle with addiction. But I do. Time to reset and forgive myself. I am worth it. I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

Thanks for coming to my ramblings.

✌️

Shassy

I found a horse feed that I would love to try with my girl… but…

I was in a chat on Reddit about horses, and the OP posted what she feeds her Akhal Teke… super cool horse, you can click the colored/underlined words to get more information… not very many in the world.

Anyway, she shared that she feeds St. Hippolyt feed. I was curious and knew that the OP was from Europe. (In my opinion Europe has exceptional horse husbandry.)

I found a horse feed that I would love to try with my girl… but…

So I got online to see if I could get it.

Alas, I cannot.. so anyone heading to Austria anytime soon? If so could you bring me back some of this feed? 😁

I feed Sadie a warm mash of alfalfa cubes, beet pulp and Purina Senior Active. She does well on it… but I’m always looking for something that is/could be better for her. I’ll follow up with direct links where you can get those products later today.

Here’s some info about it… (St.Hippolyt) it sounds amazing, and there’s no junk in it.

I wish I could get this, but haven’t found a way yet.

Just a random post.

Happy Tuesday.

✌️

Shassy

Keywords: horse feed, St. Hippolyt, alfalfa cubes, Purina

Find me in my other socials. If you want to…I’m not the boss of you. 🤣🤣🤣

Or here via my Linktree.

NO MY SITE IS NOT GOING OFFLINE. Working out some technical issues.

Find me on my other socials, if you want. I’m leaning further #out #of #Facebook. All of my videos (reels) will also be on my website. (My latest reel is at the bottom of this post.)

Why? Because I like it better, and have to do what’s best for my noggin.

Trying to keep up with everything, is hard some days, and the key to everything online is consistency. So I have to choose which #platforms are #performing better, with the least amount of “issues”.

Everything is linked in my #linktreeinbio

I won’t delete the account, but just won’t be posting as much here as time moves forward. I’ll see how it goes.. because things can change.

I have posted strong opinions about it, but I’m attempting…haha…to find my filter for my mouth.

Find me in my other socials. If you want to…I’m not the boss of you. 🤣🤣🤣

It’s just me being tired of the control issue… my content will get 40k,
10k views, until they offer to pay me, then they toggle it, and views go down. It seems dumb to me.. but hey.. I’m not Facebook. Just had a video get over 11k views Instagram (yes owned by Meta), but it gets less than 500 over on FB… because they wanted me in their monetization program. Prior to that… things were different.

Also, I enjoy the freedom I have on my own site. Nobody tells me I’m
going to get banned/ or a community violation for saying this, or that.

Yes I understand that if I’m going to continue to build, I have to jump through some hoops. I’m just deciding which hoops.

Also, having my face in front of a screen, isn’t good for me. It’s not good for anyone actually.

My goal is to share a lot, because it’s the number one most effective way for me to cope… and I’ve got to be able to deal with my baggage…..and if me sharing helps at least one other person, then I’ve accomplished something.

My main source will be here… I’ve had this site since 2013. I’ll keep Medium,(for my poetry) Reddit (because so far I love it there) and Instagram (because it’s easier to integrate what I want)… and Twitter (because I’m a part of a great writing, poetry community over there… but even Twitter is changing)…but I’m backing off of Facebook. I’ve backed completely off of Tiktok…. I can’t stand it there… I still have an account with a couple of videos, but it’s just too much. I do have a feet page… doing an experiment with that, so not sure I’ll keep it….. yes I said feet… I’m quirky and weird, but I’m ok with that. 🤣

I’m opening an Amazon storefront because I have so many products that I get from there, that I use, and it’s just easier to share all in one place sometimes. If I can’t find it on Amazon, I share a link to it.

So there it is. Peace out Facebook. For now at least.

I can’t believe I could have lost her 4 months ago. (Story on my insta via underlined/ and or different colored words).

✌️

Shassy

Faith over Fear limited run t-shirts

Faith over Fear limited run t-shirts

I’m running these t-shirts because this is something that is close to my heart.

Throughout my life I’ve had to lean on my faith to get me through fear. I’ve had to remind myself that faith is what’s kept me going, my entire life. Through the good, bad and ugly.

I believe that we all have to have faith in SOMETHING.

Think about it fora minute…what do you have faith in? What gets you through your day(s)? What do you lean on for reassurance?

Do your answers to yourself surprise you?

You can find these t-shirts through my linktree account only, or via my social media links. All links are safe. Campaign runs through the 21st. You can also click the picture below.

Faith over fear limited run t-shirts

Thanks for stopping by!

✌️Shassy

I’m turning my Jeep into a mini camper

woman in the back of a van looking at mountains

I’m turning my Jeep into a mini camper

I like to get out and away from civilization. I feel so much better mentally when I can spend time in nature. But being on a fixed income, I just can’t go out and buy a $50,000 (that’s on the less expensive side) camper.

So I decided to do some research and make my suv into a mini camper. I’m going to be building it out slow, but the first thing I wanted to do was get my power situation taken care of. I don’t want to use any of my vehicles power, to run anything other than the vehicle. It’s an old Jeep, and has a lot of miles, so I need her power system to be dedicated to just her. Her name is Daenerys btw. 😁

I could get a solar panel, controller, inverter, and battery. I was going to do that initially, but with limited space (I have a Grand Cherokee), I opted to go with just a solar panel and a solar generator. Small, nothing huge, just enough to make it possible for me to stay warm, charge my electronics, and heat food.

These are what I chose: Generator is a Ctechi portable 300w LiFePO4 299w. It has enough power to do what I need. (I also have some other small solar power stations, but this will be the main one.) Right now it has a $55 off coupon on Amazon. I’ve looked A LOT of solar generators, and it’s the same as anything…they make good ones, that you can get for less money, that don’t have a name brand. If it fails, I’ll learn, but that’s the point of all of this. This has great reviews, and I depend a lot on that. I don’t need any fancy bells or whistles, I just need it to work. I like the LiFePO4 as it has a longer lifespan. We’ll see! I’ll be posting updates as time moves forward. My first camping “trip” will be close to home, where I keep my horse, and it’s almost February, so I’ll for sure be testing how warm I stay. I’ll cover the windows with homemade thing-a-ma-jigs, but I’ll post those later as well.

The solar panel I chose was a basic polycrystalline 12v panel by Newpowa. The generator already has an inverter built in. My main concern was space, and I don’t have much of it. I’m not going to be running a water pump, or any lights, as I have that taken care of, so I really just need these to be able to power a small heater (150w), which won’t be run a lot, or for long periods of time, a food heater, (I’ll link the one I’m using as well) and electronics. This should be enough.

I’ll need a longer cord from the panel to the generator as well.

The food prep that I’ll use is this…I’ve seen videos of other van lifers/campers/truckers using this and it has a ton of good reviews.

The rest of my build will be a composting toilet, (really easy to build and won’t stink if done the right way), small sink/ cooking area, with a grey water tank and filtered water tank, supplied by a foot pump. On the other side will be another small cabinet for food storage, clothes, whatever I need it for.

I am going to move my spare tire from the floor storage area, and put it on the top of the Jeep. I’ll use that area for more storage of tools, food, misc…whatever.

This is totally new to me, I’ve never built anything out by myself so it will be a learning experience. I will share everything as I go, with all the mistakes I’m sure I’ll make, and all the things that work.

Wish me luck! Lol… I’ll need it.

✌️Shassy

Mini camper
Photo by Taryn Elliott on Pexels.com

Spill the tea, or water. How does your drinking water add up? #1

clean clear cold drink
Spill the tea, or water. How does your drinking water add up? #1

Spill the tea
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Get a FREE water test and see how YOUR water rates.

Free Water Test

I drink A LOT of tea and water. I find that when I don’t drink at lease 80 ounces of water, I feel groggy, foggy headed, and my body doesn’t work right.

Mayo Clinic states as follows.. I will link the article here.

Water is your body’s principal chemical component and makes up about 50% to 70% of your body weight. Your body depends on water to survive.

Every cell, tissue and organ in your body needs water to work properly. For example, water:

Lack of water can lead to dehydration — a condition that occurs when you don’t have enough water in your body to carry out normal functions. Even mild dehydration can drain your energy and make you tired.

So, what if you don’t have “good” water at your home? I have a friend that can’t drink her own well water. How about if you just don’t feel good about drinking water out of the tap? I personally don’t like the idea of bottled water because of the fact that the plastic is ruining our planet, getting thrown into our oceans, and not being recycled properly.

So I decided to do some research on what I could use or do to make sure my water is ok for myself and my family to use.

Here I am sharing FilterWater. Did you know that bottled water costs more that gasoline? 🤦‍♀️

AND, millions of tons of plastic is getting dumped into our oceans, buried in our ground and leaching toxic chemicals BACK into the water that we drink. I’m sorry, but that’s just not cool. We only have ONE planet, and we need to do better at taking care of it.

Get your free water testing kit here, and see how the water that you put into your body adds up. Is it good? Leave a comment and let me know what you found out.

✌️

Shassy

This is really good coffee, I’m thinking to date, my #1 favorite coffee.

This is really good coffee, I’m thinking to date, my #1 favorite coffee.

A few months ago Out Of The Grey Coffee sent me some coffee samples for me to try out, along with some chocolate covered coffee beans… yes, delicious….

#ootgcoffee

I can say that the Jamaican Blue is the best coffee I have ever had. I LOVE it. It’s smooth and sweet, not overpowering, not bitter. I do add frothed milk and raw sugar to it, but I taste tested it before I added all my stuff.

So if you want to try some American Roasted coffee, give them a look. You can click any of the underlined words or pictures to get to their website.

Here’s my video of me unboxing the delicious goodness.

There really is a difference in coffee. I used to think, coffee is coffee, but after this my mind has changed. Not all of those little beans are the same.

I was doing some research (imagine that) on coffee, and found a coffee bean that comes out of the butt of a monkey type animal. I had seen something about it on a movie or something, but thought…”naaaaa”. But sure as shit.. see what I did there… there’s an expensive coffee bean that is processed after it comes out of the little critters butthole. It’s called kopi luwak. It eats the fruit, because the bean is actually a seed from a fruit, and it’s body digests everything but the seed (bean), and then he poops it right out. Someone then has the lovely job of collecting the poo, and then they roast the beans, and send them off to coffee poo fans. It’s really expensive too.

So there you go, a tidbit of information you probably didn’t want for today. 😂

✌️Shassy

Really good coffee
Photo by Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas on Pexels.com

Coffee beans, really good coffee, kopi luwak

Hello Fresh! Good food delivered to your door.

flat lay photography of vegetable salad on plate

Hello Fresh!

I have used this service, and the food is great, instructions are easy to read, and the ingredients and quality of the product is amazing. I have NEVER had a bad meal with this program.

All – 16 Free Meals + 3 surprise gifts across 7 boxes + free shipping on 1st box

With Hello Fresh you can choose from 50 weekly menu + market items that include vegetarian, kid and low calorie meals, crafted and curated by chefs. Add ready to eat salads, sandwiches, soups and many more options.

Get pre-measured ingredients and recipe cards delivered right to your door. Enjoy fresh takes on meals that are on the table in ~30 minutes. I have personally used this service and it is GREAT!

You can add extra meals to any week’s order, change your delivery day or menu preferences, skip a week or cancel. They save you serious time and money compared to grocery stores and restaurants. Do you know what’s better? You can also forget about making last-minute trips to the grocery store because you’ll have everything you need delivered to your doorstep!

Hello Fresh
Photo by Max Bonda on Pexels.com

Hello fresh subscription⬅️⬅️

Hello fresh⬅️⬅️

Hello fresh meal plans⬅️⬅️

There are times when others only want to talk to us, or see us when we seem to fit into their lives.

There are times when others only want to talk to us, or see us when we seem to fit into their lives.

Our society has conditioned our ever present brains to accept what is put in front of our faces, usually via an electronic device or screen. We post a smiling face, nice house, fancy car, when in reality a lot of our lives are filled with pain, dysfunction and calamity.

Suicide thoughts run rampant among those of us who have had to deal with a lifetime of trauma. Or any trauma. Whether it’s from combat, familial abuse, spousal abuse, or abuse from a stranger. Anything traumatic, that makes a person question their safety, whether it’s emotional, spiritual, mental or physical,WILL CHANGE YOU.

I don’t care what you say. It changes a person. Someone who has experience trauma, will not come out on the other side the same, and a lot of times, they don’t even recognize what’s happening, and have no idea how to deal with it. (Me).

This has been me for the majority of my life. Not knowing what’s wrong, wanting to “fix” it, not understanding why I made horrible choices and decisions, and stumbling through, hiding my pain and ignoring my own emotional well being, thinking that crying, or showing emotion, was considered a weakness.

This year has been a really good year of understanding, self discovery, setting boundaries, forgiveness, mixed in with a range of emotions including extreme anger, heartbreak and acceptance. It’s not a done deal, as life is about change, and since we (me, you) are still here, then the progression will continue.

How much should a person share? Where’s the boundaries? When does it become too much? Or not enough? A lot of people really don’t care when they ask “How ya doin’?” It’s a knee jerk reaction, and honestly, we as humans need to watch our words. I STILL have a hard time with that… thinking that everyone means what they say. They don’t. They are full of shit.

Not every person is an asshole, not every person INTENDS to not mean what they say. But there are people who just provide lip service; they say what they think you want to hear, and walk off. Stay away from those people.

AND, there are genuine, good humans, who say things, then life happens and they, for some reason out of their control, couldn’t follow through, or said something that came out wrong. I’ve done that myself.

We aren’t perfect. Our lives aren’t perfect. We wake up with morning breath, we don’t always shave our legs (haha), we get so depressed that we feel like we would be better off, not alive anymore, or can’t shower, eat, breathe without physical pain. If I posted the 90 bazillion other photos of how I really feel during the day, most days, I’d have someone calling for a welfare check.

I guess I want to normalize being REAL. No, we don’t need to share everything, no one needs to know how many shits you took today… (unless you are in the hospital, or work in the medical field… but that’s another post…lol).

Needing validation is a human necessity, in my opinion, but, it needs to be done in a healthy way, and not filled with falsified “look at my perfect life” Instagram photos, or creating the perfect reel, with the perfect children, skinny perfect wife and hot ripped husband. We need to support each other as humans, perfectly flawed and messed up.

Yes, keep yourself healthy, because we all know that batshit crazy person (people) who’s narcissistic abusive behavior will ruin you. Set your boundaries, and for the love of mud, do not let them move. Flexible, maybe, but have a hard line. That may sound like a bass-ackwards way to describe it, but 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. (I have crisis in my contacts). Don’t be ashamed of not being what society or people think you should be. It’s not their business.

Also, if you’re an asshole, keep being you boo…you’re not fooling anyone.

✌️Everything is here.

There are times

Keywords: there are times, there are time when you might feel aimless, there are times in life lyrics, embittered there are questions unanswered

Lets Talk Weed…benefits and healing magic

kush in close up photography
Lets talk weed
Lets talk weed
Photo by Alesia Kozik on Pexels.com

Click here to get your own Canva account and start creating ANYTHING!

It’s not a secret, if you know me, that I am all about everything cannabis, hemp, weed. I am a firm believer in plant medicine, and if you do your research, all medicine originally came from PLANTS. Get CBD here.

I personally take CBD, CBG, CB-everything, and it is helping me wean off of pharma. I also am going to give a huge shout out to my people, who make the products I take. Here is a link to get your own.

But lets talk about the benefits of CBD for pain.. Just for ONE instant, open your mind and consider plant medicine.

“Cannabis has been used for millennia to reduce pain. Herbal cannabis is currently strongly promoted by some patients and their advocates to treat any type of chronic pain.” Source PubMed.

It personally, helps reduce overall inflammation throughout my entire body. With no side affects.

Yes, you need to do your research to find what strain and what products work best for you. Don’t take my word for it, let it prove itself for you.

Will it get you high? CBD will not, but if you get anything with a higher amount of THC in it, you could feel some affects of euphoria.

Humble Collective CBD, and Humble Alternative have the best products on the market, FOR AN AFFORDABLE PRICE, from anywhere else I’ve seen.

You must make sure to take products that are unadulterated, and have ZERO additives.

These products are just that. Perfect. <—-click here to get your own.

So go get you some, and chill the F out.

Cheers,

Shassy

Keywords other words for weed how to get a weed license in California is weed legal in Washington is weed decriminalized weed festival 2021 distributing uses bio plastics