I am disappointed right now. Not sure if it’s with myself, or fair of me to feel that way about someone else. I was blamed for putting someone down all the time…even when I just tried to talk. I did get angry and have stood up for myself and said bluntly what I thought about what was said and done, and I was told to fuck off. I accused this person of not being happy, holding onto the past, and not being friendly when they didn’t get their way. Of course that went over like a turd in a punch bowl. But what I am struggling with, is why I feel like I’ve been the bad guy, when I was verbally bashed, lied to and made to feel like the entire situation was my intentional doing. I get that I reacted under the influence of strong emotion…hurt…but I apologized for that. I was asked over and over to “wait”, long story short. I was told I was loved, but that this person had too many issues. (Their words). So I waited. But one day I woke up and realized that waiting for this person, is not what God wanted from me, so I told them such. I told them that I couldn’t wait, that I couldn’t help them, when they didn’t even talk to me. From that point on I have received nothing but put downs and the only type of response I have ever gotten, or even communication was filled with bitterness. Why on earth do I feel like it’s my fault for their reaction? That’s stupid.
Over and done. Thank goodness.