Sometimes I use blogging as a source to blast what is going on at the core, because it’s therapy for me. Sometimes I keep them private and sometimes I share.  Not sure what this blurb is going to end up as.

I try not to say negative things about my life because nobody has time to hear that, or when I do I try to make a joke of it.  I do fail though. This is going to be an epic fail I’m sure.
I have made so many mistakes, and I just keep on doing them. I got into abusive relationships and blame myself for what has happened to me.  There’s still some ongoing business with the trip to Alaska,  and I was reminded tonight how messed up I have become. So bad that I can’t stand to be around my own damn self.  Am I on a pity pot? Maybe, probably. But that doesn’t change the fact that I am just completely lost in my life right now.  I just don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve let everyone down in my life because I’m an idiot, and can’t seem to get it right. Do I even DESERVE forgiveness?  I mean really.

I’m going to have to do some serious soul searching and find out what is wrong with me.