I’m sharing this post from 2014, because I started this blog as a therapy tool. For me, it’s important to understand and learn from my experiences, and try to move forward. This may sound bad, but I can’t remember exactly which hospital I was in… but I believe in was in the western part of the state.
Journaling has been one of the best ways for me to articulate trauma, and try to understand the symptoms of it. Also, this past year I picked up poetry as a way to process. I find that poetry is amazing. Some of my work is dark though, but I’m ok with that.
(My poetry can be found via Medium on my Linktree HERE)
2014: I’m back in the hospital again, to try to get straightened out. I felt a crash and burn coming on, and this time I actually scared myself. I was really angry. I still am angry, which is something I have never felt to this extent before. I see that this is something that is going to affect my life permanently. I lose jobs, that I enjoy and find rewarding, I cry and hide in the night, finding that my mind is lost in the confusion of the trauma. This time I have also lost time. Periods of time are missing. That’s scary. I know in my heart that I am a good person, but it seems that I can only do one thing at a time. But right now I feel damaged and broken.
Oh, and my new shrink wants me to journal. EVERY DAY…lol…so here we go.
To be continued.
keep me in your prayers, cuz God knows I need them.