2013: OMG…I just got home from visiting with my college advisor, and I can’t start school for another three months…I was sooooooo upset.  Frustrated, crying…panic attack…(another story)…..feeling completely worthless and alone.  I wanted someone to listen…

Then I sat down on my bed, moved a lamp over to the other side, plugged in my phone…basically trying to distract myself from the obvious.  Which was….it is not the end of the world.  Really????  What???  It’s not?  That’s the way I felt…then I started feeling like EVERYTHING was wrong…WHEN IT ISNT.

THEN, I started looking back on my life and how I reacted to things.  And WOW…there were a couple of times, sans alcohol, that I really didn’t/couldn’t think clearly. After re-reading my CKF information that I have, I realized a lot of things.  Things I wish I had known before, and things I wish I had had support with, and understanding.  I sooo want to give and treat others like I want to be treated…

This is much more difficult than I had expected it to be.  Really being emotionally healthy, and staying in recovery, is work…work that I want to do, believe me. But I am learning so much that I wasn’t aware of before.

Please be patient with me.

I love you.

Definition of PAW, Post Acute Withdrawal can be found HERE via the Betty Ford.org site.

keywords: paw, post acute withdrawal, mental health, relapse